30-year-old man refuses to babysit son's step sibling of divorced wife, despite her husband being diagnosed with cancer: 'This isn't about the legal aspect'

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Oct 24, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Divorce is tragic, but common. The story below is about a divorced dad who's only trying to move on with his life after the trauma of marital infidelity. The pain and heartbreak of infidelity is like a cold spoon sticking it's curved spine into your throat to tear your heart out of your body. Bereft of the very pulse that gives meaning to life, when your love is strewn in front of you like some cheap bottle, it can distract the very things that make one stable in themselves. The protagonist is the divorced dad, and his wife cheated on him in their relationship after they already had children. He did the wise thing and divorced her, and she went off to marry and have a child with her affair partner. 

Now it's been many years, but they won't leave him alone and give him peace. His ex-wife's husband is now diagnosed with cancer, and the couple is unable to care for their child in the same way. She begs him to step in and babysit when he takes their son, but he refuses. 

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  • 01

    WIBTAH if I refuse to babysit my ex-wife's child in an emergency?

    Divorced dad with his child
    via Alex P from Pexels / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (30M) have a child with my ex- wife (30F). We married young, had our child young and then she cheated on me with her current
    via u/Scottshy
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    husband. After the divorce she had a child with her husband. I have never had any kind of relationship or presence in this
    via u/Scottshy
  • 04
    child's life. I communicate with my ex-wife through an app called OurFamilyWizard and we see each other very infrequently. I
    via u/Scottshy
  • 05
    keep things civil when I do see her or her husband for the sake of my child but I do not pretend
    via u/Scottshy
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    to be friends and I have no respect for either of them.
    via u/Scottshy
  • 07
    Divorce papers
    via Richard Villalonundefined / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    My ex-wife's husband was recently diagnosed with cancer. She told me this in person at a school event for our child. While
    via u/Scottshy
  • 09
    telling me she admitted they did not have a support network anymore and they had some concerns about what would
    via u/Scottshy
  • 10
    happen in an emergency with their child. She asked if I would be willing to babysit in an emergency situation since our
    via u/Scottshy
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    child will be dropped off to me in the event of one anyway. I told
    via u/Scottshy
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    her I would not and I would appreciate if she didn't ask me again.
    via u/Scottshy
  • 13
    But ask me again she did, before I could leave. She told me I did not understand the lack of support they have and how their child
    via u/Scottshy
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    should be protected the same as our child. She told me I surely wouldn't say no in an actual emergency. I told her to have
    via u/Scottshy
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    something else in place for an emergency and not to rely on me because I do not want to be left caring for her child with the man
    via u/Scottshy
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    she cheated on me with. I told her she needed to let it go before our child picked up on any tension.
    via u/Scottshy
  • 17
    She texted me afterward and said I need to reconsider because they have no other options. I replied that my answer was still no and to
    via u/Scottshy
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    please use the app only going forward. My attorney said it was the right move because it's.
    via u/Scottshy
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    documented in case she ever tries to drop her child off with me. He has filed it away in case we ever need it in the future.
    via u/Scottshy
  • 20
    This isn't about the legal aspect though. I wonder if my refusal would make me an AH in an actual emergency when
    via u/Scottshy
  • 21
    according to her nobody would babysit their child. My ex-wife is clearly very stressed so maybe I'm not showing the compassion I
    via u/Scottshy
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    should. I find it hard to have any for them after everything they did. But the child wasn't a part of
    via u/Scottshy
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    it and my lack of concern for the child might be AH worthy especially in an emergency situation. WIBTAH?
    via u/Scottshy
  • 24
    TarzanKitty ⚫ 9h ago They need to speak to the social worker at the hospital where he is receiving
    via u/TarzanKitty
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    treatment to see what services might be available to them.
    via u/TarzanKitty

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